Once upon a time, someone handed me a calling card and said "Here, a calling
card. You can use it to call if you're out". Unfortunately, the someone forgot
to give me the pin number. For some reason, I carried this in my wallet for approximately
400 years anyway, even though it was totally useless to me. By the way, I'm a pack rat. That will become important in a moment. One day, I had to insert some brand new card into my wallet. But alas, there was no room, for a reason I will not mention here (hint: if you don't know, go take some more medication). So I had to remove something. I chose the calling card. By the way, I'm a little paranoid. That will become important in a moment. Now, just because I don't know the pin number for this calling card, doesn't mean some thief somewhere doesn't know it. So I decided I should cut the card up, to forestall someone calling china on my dime. (You will also notice that, after I took the picture, I cleverly fuzzed out the partial name and number, so that my internet fan couldn't track me down and kill me). However, since I was busy not doing any work that day (pure coincidence I assure you) I decided to cut the card into the shape of a man, to keep sticky tack man company. As it happens, if you suck, this is harder than it would otherwise appear. Hence, the left arm is much fatter than the right. By the way, I'm right handed. That will become important in a moment.
The.. err.. less desirable among the crowd, have seen fit to point out that this
is some sort of super clever self portrait, wherein I have a massive left arm,
for reasons which I won't name but which should be fairly obvious.
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